I DON’T WANT TO BE A BURDEN
In 2000, my mom was diagnosed with an aneurysm on her ascending aorta and another one on her descending aorta. She was 74 at the time. I was in her hospital room one day when one of the cardiologists overseeing her case came in to check on her. I asked him, “I know you’re not the surgeon, but you know my mom’s situation, what would you recommend?” I have never regretted asking a question more than I did that day. He crassly answered, “I’m not against my patients passing relatively quietly and painlessly. I would never recommend surgery for your mom because she risks having a stroke on the table and being a burden to her family for the rest of her life.” Oh…my…goodness! I couldn’t believe he said what he did right in front of my mom. My mom heard “burden to her family” and that was that…no surgery. Praise God that her story didn’t end there. She saw her surgeon and he explained that, although he couldn’t help her because her surgery was too complicated to be done in Reading, he was confident that the doctors at Penn could help her. Then he said, “My office will be praying for you.” It still took some convincing to get her to go to Penn, but she did. The surgery was a success and she lived to (almost) 92!
“Burden” is defined as a load, typically a heavy one. Ouch! I don’t know about you, but I don’t like the thought of being a burden to anyone. My mom didn’t like the thought either and her fear of being a burden almost robbed her and her family of eighteen years of life.
It’s probably safe to say that no one wants to be a burden, but I get the feeling that God wants us to see this matter a little differently…
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
Please notice that this passage instructs us to carry EACH OTHER’S burdens. That means YOU have burdens that you need help with carrying and I have burdens that I need help with carrying. We all have burdens and will need help carrying them, so we need each other.
From the beginning, it’s clear that God created us to help one another…
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) And so the Lord made a woman as a suitable helper for Adam.
Moses begged God to send someone else to do the talking for him and so God sent Moses’ brother to come alongside him to do the talking to Pharaoh. (Exodus 4)
Moses needed the help of Aaron and Hur to keep his hands raised during the battle with the Amalekites to be victorious. (Exodus 17)
Naomi and Ruth needed each other’s help as they navigated their new identities as poverty-stricken widows returning to a land they had not lived in for over ten years. (Ruth 1)
Solomon expounds on the benefits of carrying each other’s burdens in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
So, what’s your take on carrying someone’s burden? Chances are that most of us are willing to help someone carry their burden. Where most of us struggle is in asking others for help to carry our burdens! Afterall, it’s more blessed to give than to receive, and it feels really good to help someone, right? But Paul goes on to offer additional insight:
If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. (Galatians 6:3)
If we think we will never need help, we are deceiving ourselves. If we think we will always have it all together, we are kidding ourselves. And, truth be told, if we think we will always be in the same physical, mental, and emotional condition as we are in (or were in) at our peak, we are definitely giving ourselves more credit than we deserve.
When Paul warns us in Romans not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought, but rather think of ourselves with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of us, he says it in the context of the body of Christ. And this body which has lots of members with many different gifts belongs to one another. Our gifts are meant to be used in service to one another.
And lest we allow pride to interfere with carrying someone else’s burden, or with asking for help in carrying our own burdens, Paul offers this advice:
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. (Galatians 6:4-5)
There is no room for comparisons. We can’t compare our afflictions, trials, or needs as if ours are worse or better than someone else’s. We shouldn’t think that someone else is worse off or better off than we are. Everyone must carry their own load. This verse isn’t meant to negate the prior admonition to carry each other’s burdens. Rather, it means that each of us is on a separate journey, and each journey is beset with its own afflictions and trials, victories and joys. We can’t compare journeys, wishing our journey was different nor should we take pride that ours is “better” than others.
Our ability to help others and even to help ourselves may change over time, and maybe the way we can help is different, but as long as we are able, we can choose to help. In the same way, our own needs will change over time and the people we rely on for help may change, but we need to be willing to ask for help. I love the way The Message puts it:
Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. (Galatians 6:5)
No one wants to feel like a burden. Instead, we need to accept the truth that we all have burdens. Since those burdens can be mighty heavy for others as well as for ourselves, what a blessing to do our creative best to lighten the load for one another.
