Anyone who knows my dad and walked with him through any part of his cancer journey over the last three years, knows that he wasn’t afraid to die. Anytime someone would start to feel sorry for him or maybe even for themselves, he would always say, “It is what it is” or “Heaven is kind of exciting when you think about it.” And then he would say that he wanted to live for us - for his family, because he knew we would be sad when he passed.
But the last night my father was on this earth, my heart just needed an extra Jesus confirmation that my dad was in Heaven. As I was praying for my dad and talking to him in some of his last moments, God put on my heart a Christian rap song called Lazarus by Trip Lee. This was a little bit amusing because my dad, probably like many of you, wasn't too fond of rap music.
Because I felt God had put this song on my heart, I went to read the story of Lazarus before I went to bed. As I opened my Bible app, the verse of the day was John 11:25-26. I couldn’t help but believe that this was orchestrated by God because John 11 is where we find the story of Lazarus.
The verses read: “Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?””
I felt so much comfort in these verses. God was showing me that my dad was living, that he had gone from earth straight to the arms of Jesus. Because my dad believed in Jesus, he had never died.
I continued to read the entire chapter. I’ll share just a portion with you:
“When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. Bethany was only a few miles down the road from Jerusalem, and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.” “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.” Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” So Mary immediately went to him. Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?” Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.” Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to Heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”” (John 11:17-44 NLT)
Something that stuck out to me was that Jesus knew where Lazarus was - in Heaven, which is the best place any of us can be. He also knew that in a few minutes, He would be raising him from the death back to life. But even with this knowledge, Jesus still wept. It’s okay to know where my dad is and to know that I’ll see him again, but it’s also okay for me to mourn that loss.
Also, Jesus brought Glory to the Father when he caused Lazarus to rise from the dead, and Jesus is bringing glory to the Father by raising my dad to life in Heaven.
I don’t get to know why God answered my prayers and fastings for my dads healing with healing in Heaven instead of on earth. I do know though, that my dad is fully healed.
I know that the moment that my dad’s spirit left this earth, he was united in Heaven with Jesus, feasting at His table and breathing the fresh air of Heaven. My dad had esophageal and lung cancer. On earth, he couldn’t eat or breathe anymore, but now he’s been made fully whole.
I know that he was able to meet those who went before him - his unborn child; our unborn child, his grandchild; and many more.
And I know that although my heart mourns for him, his heart is content in the Father’s. When I said to our son Ezekiel, “I miss Grandpa Quint,” he replied, “Well, he doesn’t miss you!” and Thomas said, “That was sure a Grandpa Quint thing to say!”
The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NIV: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
My dad’s three-year journey and battle with cancer was a lot - a trial, to say the very least. But he continually fixed his eyes not on the cancer, but on what was unseen - a greater and eternal glory. And I know God does not disappoint.
Later, on the Sunday after my dad passed, I was reading text messages of condolences. Pastor Devin sent Thomas John 11:25-26, the same verse I read on my Bible app before Dad passed from this earth. It served as yet another confirmation for my heart that God loves to comfort his children.
I want to encourage you all today that God doesn’t waste our sorrow and pain, or even our death. When we believe in Him, He uses it for His greater glory - something we can’t comprehend.
Whether you believe in God or are struggling to believe in Him, ask Him to reveal to your heart the truth you are needing because He loves to talk to his kids. Just like He did to me with the story of Lazarus. Even if you’re not His kid, He loves when you open the doors of communication. You don’t need pretty or eloquent words. Speak how you feel - the good, the bad, and the ugly. He meets us where we are, not where we, or others, think we should be.
God is using my dad’s life, death, and new life for His greater glory. And I’m so thankful for that. If you believe in Him, He’s using every part of your life too. He doesn’t waste a single thing.