Have you ever wished you could go back in time? If you could do such a thing, what would you change? What would be different? Recently, our son, who we took in and eventually adopted 26 years ago, asked me this question: “If we can live for eternity, why can’t we go back in time?” What a great question, right? My answer to him was this, “Well, God didn’t intend for that. We all have regrets and wish life would have been different in some way or another, but God’s plan is for us to forgive ourselves as well as others and ask God to forgive us. Then move forward with God’s help, trusting He will use the good, the bad, and the ugly for eternity.” Our son accepted the answer I gave and hopefully will chew on that for a bit.
I was recently asked if I had regrets in taking in someone else’s child who had been abused in the womb and beyond, which then created a lifelong hardship and trauma for him and those who cared for him. My answer was, “No. I know we could have done some things differently and wish we had more knowledge of trauma at the time, but no regrets.” Why? Because each circumstance we were put in and went through made us better. Was it hard? Oh, you bet! I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it was. I say better because, even though I was raised to be a follower of Jesus and we raised our children to know Jesus, we were still inwardly focused. I would say we had some judgments about people and circumstances of life that were not pleasing to our Lord and Savior. When we were going through the adoption process, we needed character references. Out of the six letters, five came back with great support. But one came back stating that although they felt we were good parents, they felt that this adoption would “ruin our lives.” What if we could turn the clock back to when that letter was read to us? Would we have changed our mind? I would like to think not. I am thankful we didn’t get the chance.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18-19)
I truly believe God did a new thing in our lives when we took the risk. Believe me when I say we are different people because of the wilderness experiences in our lives. What springs forth is compassion, grace, generosity, and perseverance. I’m so grateful.
But what about the mistakes you’ve made? Do you wish you could turn back time to make amends? Just remember mistakes have been made since Adam and Eve. Yes, there are costs involved in the decisions made by us and even for us. Our son just said to me not long ago that he wishes he could go back in time so he could finish high school. He desires other things to have been different, too. I do, as well. I would dare say we all do. But it’s not possible, so what is the answer? You will find it in God’s Word, as always.
Repent, therefore, and turn back that your sins may be blotted out. (Acts 3:19)
Well, that is the answer. Repent. Saying your sorry, asking forgiveness, turning away from the mistakes even though you didn’t know they were mistakes at the time. Learning from the past. Turning towards God. Living for Him. All those mistakes, errors, and decisions are gone. Erased. Now, I don’t know about you, but that releases me to a new level of hope. Hope in the God who knows what He is doing and offers that much love and grace to me and gives me a new future. To make all things new.
Going back and trying to fix it would be like trying to glue on all the leaves that have fallen off the trees in the autumn. You really can’t do it. You may be able to get a few to stick, but they will eventually fall off after the first storm comes through. The leaves fall, and the flowers die off, but new growth happens in the spring. Regret is you trying to figure out how to glue your past back together. God doesn’t want you to waste your time. His plans are greater than that for you. His plan is a future with Him here on this earth and for eternity. I would rather look ahead than behind. God is with you in your disappointments, your what-ifs, your losses, and your wins.
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. (Ephesians 6:10)
If you desire to know more about God’s son, Jesus, please reach out, and I’ll gladly take the time to talk with you!
Blessings!
