I once had a boss who was not nice, to say the least. Do you know the old saying that goes "If you dig deep, you can find the good in people?" Yea, well, the deeper I dug, the uglier it got. What I noticed was that, when we interacted, it got ugly on both sides. Even though she was treating me improperly, it brought out the negative in me. I began to yell back out of anger and frustration and do things that I knew were wrong, but I didn’t know what else to do. One day, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to love her. Now I rebuked that very quickly. But again and again, I was being nudged. I finally talked to God about it. I was completely honest with Him and we had one of our more heated discussions. I went on ranting and raving about how horrible and frustrating she was, swearing that she did this stuff on purpose, and asking why would I ever love her?
For the first time, God helped me to zoom out; He helped me to see the bigger picture. I was able to back up from the situation and the issues at hand. The Holy Spirit showed me that there was far more going on here than I had noticed. This woman was struggling. She had a lot of evil in her life and she herself was not treated the best by the people she loved. As God revealed these things to me, my heart began to break. In no way did it excuse her actions or pardon the sin, but it allowed me to have empathy towards her. I began to follow the Lord’s leading in the way I dealt with her. I refused to yell, argue, and fight with her. I would go out of my way to try and be nice and do something kind for her. When I would, she would just look puzzled and say something to try and get under my skin. I even got her a Christmas present and wrapped it myself. She was not happy about that. As time went on, I would like to say we became friends, but we didn’t. She never was nice to me and as far as I know, she never liked me. However, I did see one thing change. About six months to a year into loving her till it hurt, I overheard a conversation between her and her daughter. Her daughter was yelling at her mother on my behalf. She said, “You need to stop speaking to him that way because he never fights back, and it is making you look like a crazy person.” Imagine my surprise when I heard this. Here is a woman advocating for me simply because I was trying to walk out what God was telling me to do.
I still look back on this lesson with fondness. I hope you caught it. This story isn’t about me or her, it is about how God has a better plan than we do. We may think we know what is right and just, but He knows better. We may think we know why people do what they do, but it is God who knows their heart. We may think we know best, but I promise you, He knows better. God has taught me to try and ignore the actions, words, and sin of people in order to really see them. To see the person that God sees. When He looks at them, He sees someone worth saving. It is the way He looks at me. He saw past my sin, actions, and words to see a man who was lost and in need of help. It breaks His heart when we do wrong, but He is rich in mercy and grace. I encourage you to never become calloused to allowing God to break your heart for others. When our hearts become calloused to the things that break God’s heart, we naturally begin to fight against people. If we are unaware of the evil, the sin, and the darkness at play, we will want to villainize our neighbors, our family, and our community, before grace and mercy are ever entertained.
There are plenty of ways to put this kind of love into practice. God has broken my heart specifically for the gay and transgender community. I am not sure why, but there is such a burden on my heart for them. Instead of yelling and getting angry at the things that community does and says, like the younger version of Scott would have, I want to love them and show them the love of Jesus. There is no shortage of ways we can do this. Consider the rowdy teenagers in your neighborhood, the political party on the opposite side of your personal views, the person who hurt you in the past, the judgmental parent at school, the co-worker who annoys you, the child who just doesn’t listen. These are all examples of opportunities. Opportunities to love people like Jesus does. Not condoning sin or the actions, but trying to seek God’s wisdom and guidance on how to deal with it. A wise man, my dad, once told me that, “You cannot control people, but you certainly can control your reaction and response to them.”
I encourage you today to show others the same grace and mercy that has been shown to you. To pray for them even if it hurts. To go to the Father on behalf of the lost, regardless of how you may feel about them. To love them just as Jesus has loved you.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. (John 13:34)
